The simple pleasure of having dinner sitting on the floor!

At about 11 pm my house wears a festive look. On seeing folks going into the kitchen and coming out carrying cookers and other utensils laden with food, water, etc one would think that either an 'annadhaanam' (free food supply for all at temples) is about to take place or else the inmates of the house are shifting on an emergency basis coz of sudden flooding in the area! No. Nothing of that sort. We are just going to have dinner in the spacious living cum dining room and 'preparations' are on in full swing. Though I do possess a formidable teak dining table with 8 ornate chairs, I dont much enjoy sitting on it to relish a simple South Indian dinner.

Breakfast I usually have standing in the kitchen balcony overlooking a green patch of land adjacent to my house (my neighbour informs me that it is a 'disputed' land and litigation is on to decide ownership. Who knows, the judge may decide that I am the owner!) and irritating my wife all the while To let you on to a greater truth, actually there is no other simple pleasure for a male than irritating his beloved wife (and the wife too 'acts' as if she is dang bloody irritated)

Lunch is generally had in front of the puter sitting on a couch. I dont have those upright swivel chairs (they are dated stuff) and instead use a comfy couch that originally is part of a grand sofa set (back pain? wasnt I the one who told you guys all about the back ache?) Lunch timings are quite bizarre but I do tend to call it lunch and not tunch (a portmanteau of tea and lunch). Sometimes it is at 12, on other days at 4 ...you get the point?... but it has to be had in front of the puter when I check the mail, chat with a bootiful femme or tracking the visitors to my site courtesy sitemeter. How does one eat as well as type? Didnt your mom teach you the importance of using the brain sometimes? Well, I premix the food with my hand(mix the sambhar and rice and then the rasam and rice and then the curd and rice) and keep them in various compartments on my plate, wash my hands and then employ a spoon to shovel the contents into my gob. Uff! Sounds simple but give it a try, pretty tedious.

Dinner is the most exciting of all. I look forward to it eagerly. It is almost a ritual. Just check out this awesome timetable:
10 15pm:
I amble (drag my feet) into the house grumbling what a tired and busy day it has been. Even if I have just came back after drooling with a pretty femme I try to grimace, twist and turn my face into a thousand knots so that I get a concerned look from wifey.

10 20pm:
I switch off the TV serial which my Mom so religiously watches complaining that my head is aching and the tailor-made-to-irritate-males serial is getting on my nerves. Here I play the role of a hypochondriac to the hilt and pull it off with ease.

10 25pm:
Head off to the bogs to take a horse pee and wash all the germs from my hands and you know where....yea my legs...and change into a comfortable old lungi (helps free circulation of air where the sun dont shine). Ah relief and comfort. Whoever invented the trousers?

10 30pm:
"Can we have dinner please?" I holler as I sink into the comfy sofa. "Karthi (my cousin), go and help your SIL in bringing the cooked food to the hall you lazy bum, cant you see she is finding it difficult to ferry the items all by herself?"

10 35pm:
"Would you like to have an egg darling? I could prepare a bull's eye for you, you poor thing" coos my wifey. "Whaddya mean 'a' bull's eye. Make it two." I reply with some indignance.

10 40pm:
"What the hell are you peeps doing in the kitchen, does it take such a long time to prepare the eggs? Gosh I am starving. Is this how you treat a tired male?" "There arent any eggs in the fridge, I have just sent Karthi to the nearby shop to fetch some." "A fine thing to do, that bugger walks as if he were on the moon, couldnt you get someone better to do the job?"

10 50pm:
All the utensils with food are laid out before us and we begin to hog. "Deep get the Haldiram's Aloo Bhuji and also the ginger pickle." "Dang! You arent satisfied with so many poriyals and side dishes eh? Go and fetch them yourself." "Karthi, you ass, go and fetch it. Cant you see I am bugged at the end of the day and cant bother to get up?"

11 00pm:
"Slurp Slurp Slurp"

11 30pm:
"Burp Burp Burp"

As soon as I finish dinner I run off to the terrace with a match box in my hand. You think I am going to light an incense stick?